Understanding my autistic mind later in life and discovering the strengths within it

With autism, there are rarely half-measures. Although I learned about autism later in life, the way I engage with information can be all-consuming, particularly when it is connected to anxiety. I have spent years learning to understand why this happens – now I see it not just as a challenge, but as a strength.

The way I focus is not only something I need to manage; it is also something I value. With awareness and practice, I am learning to work with my focus rather than feeling controlled by it.

For me, this explains why I can become so immersed in a subject. I want to explore it fully, make connections, and understand it in depth. It allows me to focus deeply and create meaningful work.

I have learned to recognise the gift in the way my mind works. It enables me to give detailed attention to the neurodivergent experience through my lived experience, research, and writing.

Special interests are sometimes misunderstood, but they can also be a source of creativity, knowledge, and connection. When we embrace the things that capture our attention, we can discover strengths that may have always been there.

For me, writing has become that strength. Through my words, I have been able to explore my experiences and share what I have learned. What once felt like something I needed to manage has become something I value – a powerful part of who I am.

If you are beginning to understand your own autistic focus, I hope my experience shows that what may once have felt like something to manage can also become a source of creativity, knowledge, and connection. Understanding the way our minds work can help us recognise the strengths that may have always been there.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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