There are many reasons why no matter what you do, your face doesn’t fit. It’s not just about having a disability, or facing prejudice based on a 'difference.'

It’s also not about trying to work harder, to change the way you are just to fit in or working on what you think, others think is the problem. No matter what you do if attitudes don’t change you may never fit in.

Institutions and fitting in

Issues with fitting in start with institutions as far back as a child. Just going to school, can see children beginning to question their place and whether they ‘fit in.’ When it comes to physical or mental disability, we don't always fit in.

Many people fail to see that although we may present differently, underneath we are no different to anyone else, but when it begins to feel like no matter what you do, you’ll never be good enough, then it’s time to walk away.

Walking away

When anyone goes out of their way to make you feel awkward, inadequate, or you're the problem, then you know it's time to walk away. It’s better to quit whilst you’re winning, rather than wait to be pushed and even if you’re not pushed, it may not stop people making things difficult.

If you believe in yourself, you will walk away. It's always important to fit in and find your own place, a place that you're comfortable with.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Fitting in and finding a place”

  1. For anyone dealing with a disability, it must be enormously difficult fitting in and finding a place. It should be the norm.

    It must have also been particularly hard for you given the fact you grew up not knowing you had a disability. A disability isn't just something you see physically. There are mental and emotional connotations to every physical disability.

    Also, you're more mentally and emotionally disabled than you are physically. You've had to find a place to fit in and have struggled to do that. Society needs to be more accepting of everyone.

    1. Thank you. Yes, it should be the norm. From what I write about it, it isn't the norm and needs to be.

      For anyone living with a disability, they need to find an acceptance on their disability and that's difficult to do when society isn't accepting of them because they deal with a disability.

      Whether you deal with a disability, or you're born with different orientations, we need to live our time on earth in a way that not only benefits us, but benefits others also.

      We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Each of us will leave an imprint on our lives, on our family's lives, on society also.

      We should all be fitting in, we should all be allowed to fit in. With a disability, it's impossible to do because you're already living at a disadvantage, made worse, because society isn't accepting.

      There are many groups, you can add into this mix. I'm not just referring to those who deal with a disability.

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