There are givers and takers. For those of us who give, we put other people’s interests ahead of our own. Takers work on themselves, believing that taking care of themselves comes first, before the wants and needs of others.
Adopting different behaviours
Depending on the situation or circumstances, people may adopt different behaviours, through a dominant model that determines which category they fall into and how their lives may go. We emulate our behaviour by what we see, without consciously thinking about what we do.
Learning to 'give'
On a spiritual and universal level, it is always good to give. By giving, we are guided by the interests of others. It's good to give, but giving to the wrong people, has its pitfalls too. It’s easy to be taken advantage of when you continually give to the wrong people.
Takers
There has to be an exchange from others who also need to give, so that everyone is on the receiving end of kindness. Takers usually exploit others for their own personal gain, the result being short-term gain, rather than long-term support.
A taker's life is about them. A taker will dominate conversations, expect favours and expect other people's support, without being a support to others. For those who give, it is important to remember to think about yourselves.
I happen to be one of the givers, which is what I was forced to do as a child and have been doing it ever since.
I was brainwashed into doing it for people who were takers, who never gave a whole lot in return. I wasn't allowed to think much about myself and if I did there was usually some kind of punishment for it and I was considered to be selfish and spoiled.
This explains so much about my life and why I have continuously been involved with people who would take everything I have and keep expecting more and more without giving much of anything in return.
I'm at a point now where I need to really stop doing this, so I can finally have a chance to live my own life instead of taking care of everyone else's life.
Thanks Randy. Your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully and yes you must. Just imagine how much less stress you'll have in the longer-term when you stop giving to those who don't deserve your kindness.
I can resonate with you, because although it was never said but expected, I did the same thing as a child and continued until I was in my mid twenties.
It was only when I started making the correlation between what I gave to what I got back, I began to realise it was me who needed to change.
It doesn't mean don't give, it simply means you choose who you give to. Give only to those who are worthy of your giving.