It would be easy for us to hold a grudge because of everything we've had to deal with, but what would be the point? When we hold a grudge, we hope the pain we feel is felt by the person we have a grudge against. It's the nature of what a grudge is.
Holding a grudge doesn’t make us feel any better about ourselves, neither does a grudge make us or our circumstances any better. A grudge doesn’t help us change anything. All a grudge does is make us stay bitter. It's not the spiritual way.
We are hurting ourselves more when we hold on to grudges. Like you said we might think we are hurting the people we have the grudge for by doing so. In most cases, these people don't even realize they did us wrong.
Like in my case my family never has admitted that they treated me unfairly. I have tried to let go of that grudge, but when I think I have it surfaces again.
Thanks Maria. You know your family treated you unfairly. I believe they know they have, they won't admit they have.
You don't need to spend your time trying to convince your family that you know the truth, they already know what is the truth but will never admit to you that you're right. Perhaps it's time to let that go.
If your family had played fair, you will have known that too. You know what you know. I believe people know when they've wronged us, but will always choose to ignore the facts. That way they don't have to deal with the facts, but it comes full circle eventually.
I used to be a world champion at holding on to grudges, but I've learned not to give the other person the satisfaction.
I can now find an acceptance for that sort of stuff, but I do have a long memory!
Thank you. Yes that's always good. I can see why you would think you were giving the other person the satisfaction by holding a grudge, but holding a grudge just serves to make the situation ten times worse, because both parties then become standoffish.
I believe that when we can let go of the long memory, we will have emotionally and spiritually grown through each of those experiences. When we can find understanding (although we don't have to agree) it's easier to let go of those memories, because our understanding replaces those memories.
I believe long memories just hurt us more, because while we have the long memory, we're holding on to the negativity that accompanies the memory and that just hurts us more.