‘I’ll be happy when…’ The biggest mistake we make is putting everything we want to do on hold, waiting for the time when we're happy, when our life is problem free.
In times of stress, we continue to justify our thinking around the usual stuff. For example things will change when I finally have a pay rise, a place of my own, a better job, or a committed relationship, then I can be happy. But sadly the idea that we can’t be happy unless we meet all our conditions is our barrier to happiness and success combined.
Trying to make our circumstances match our thoughts, may only serve to create more stress. Our thoughts can never match to those of our circumstances, because we’re constantly fighting with unresolved unconscious experiences that we may not have dealt with.
When we continue to justify where we are, we will always continue to make excuses instead of doing something about where we are. The first thing we must do is stop making excuses, or finding reasons to justify our thinking that doesn't help.
And although where we are may initially be someone else’s fault, as the adult we should take control regardless of who is initially responsible. Without taking control, we’re losing precious time debating our life, rather than taking control of it.
I was always trying to find ways to take back control, to find out what was wrong with me. I never gave up hope. Without hope I wouldn’t have instigated finding out what I had been dealing with and the The CP Diary wouldn’t exist.
We open the door on so many possibilities when we're in a happier place. It's important to push through, deal with our issues and find ways to be happy.
Sadly, so many people waste their lives waiting for that perfect fairy tale life and that just isn't the way the universe works.
I have done the same thing myself and when I actually had a chance to be happy, I let it get away from me, being more worried that my daughter wouldn't approve.
Long story short, I'm now 49 years old and have been miserable for most of it, because I was more afraid of being happy. My life has always royally sucked, so why would I ever expect any different?
You live what you know is what it comes down to, which so many people don't understand; seeing as it doesn't make logical sense.
Compare it to what a veteran goes through who has been in the war zone for too long and it will make perfect sense.
Thanks Randy. Yes, we pretty much spend our life thinking and worrying about what other people think, rather than our own needs.
It's only when we look back that we see the patterns emerging of how things are playing out. I'm not sure how much notice we take until that point.
I am sure that if you have told your daughter about a new girlfriend she will have been fine, as long as you were happy. Children bounce back. They're resilient and understand more than we think they do.
I think what matters Randy is how you feel and what you need to make yourself happy. At 49 you still have your life, but it is up to you to make the changes you need to make.
We can't wait for happiness to land in our laps, we have to work at being happy.