There comes a time when trying to understand your past means accepting that not everything will be explained. You can spend years finding information, piecing together your experiences, and gradually making sense of circumstances that once seemed difficult to understand. Yet some questions can still remain unanswered.
I have reached that point in my own healing journey.
For decades, understanding has meant having to search for explanations. I wanted to make sense of the experiences that shaped my life and understand the circumstances surrounding them. Over time, I have had to come to terms with the fact that there are limits to what I know.
That has been challenging.
But there is a difference between accepting that an answer may never come and pretending the question doesn't exist. Acceptance should not mean dismissing what happened or overlooking its impact. It means recognising that some things may remain unresolved.
I am learning not to fill those gaps with assumptions. There are things I can understand through reflection, and things that still remain beyond my understanding and control.
For now, recognising those differences has become an important part of my healing.
I still care about the answers. I still need the answers.
Where questions still remain, it is important they don't prevent me from continuing my own journey.
