As a child, I didn’t realise I was carrying the weight of trauma while trying to navigate a world unaware of the struggles I faced – struggles I would later come to understand were shaped by a disability. What I had wrong with me remained a mystery. I grew up with what felt like anxiety not knowing that is what it was. They weren't singular events, but as a result of both, I have spent my whole life moulding myself into someone who knows she had to adapt to survive.
Mental Health became my Lifeline
Mental health became my lifeline. Even when I didn’t fully understand, I never gave up on myself, my thoughts or my feelings. Not knowing I even had a disability or what my foot and leg issues were, I continued to struggle and went into counselling. The courage to face my struggles head-on through therapy began to unravel some of my trauma. It wasn’t easy, healing rarely is. Through therapy I began to understand more of my trauma and anxiety – to know they weren’t separate parts of me. Finally understanding that what I had was a disability, meant I was being honest with myself, learning to embrace 'me' was another.
Moving Forward
Through The CP Diary I continue to learn, to heal and to grow. Understanding what my trauma is and embracing my disability has been transformative. It has taught me that we should all say how we feel – to know that what we go through is a survival mechanism. I've probably said this before but in order to find my way in the world, I had to give myself a voice.
