Sadly, on an unconscious level, those of us who have been abused may not always equate that others too may perhaps have also been abused, or if they are aware, they may refuse to acknowledge it. Perhaps acknowledging someone else being abused, will impact how we see our own abuse.
Perhaps we’re only seeing what we want to see because it’s easier, that way we don’t have to deal with other people's abuse only our own. How we feel towards other people who have been abused, may never match how we feel about our own abuse and what we've had to deal with, but no matter how much abuse we or others have been subjected to, abuse is abuse.
Emotionally, we will always be affected. No abuse is acceptable. The hard part for many is recognising that we have been abused. We tend to recognise abuse through other people’s experiences, but don’t always equate abuse back to ourselves and our experiences, unless someone points it out to us.
But perhaps if more of us were able to recognise and acknowledge other people's struggles through abuse, we would be more inclined to understand that we're not the only ones. When it comes to families, where one sibling has been abused, other siblings will either be affected by their sibling's abuse, or they will have been abused themselves.
This is so great. I've pondered a lot recently in my mind, the definition of abuse. We all know physical abuse, is for sure abuse. We all know, being called names and being screamed at is abuse.
But what about being over sensitive to someone who's not meaning to be rude? If someone close to us is making us feel bad or make us question how they feel about us, simply how they talk to us without the screaming, more their tone? Would that fall under abuse?
Or are they misunderstanding and being too sensitive? Just a question. We all think, act and feel differently about a lot of things. I know some people who are really good at talking to others, but then there are those who have a certain tone that can come across as rude. When I tell those people, they claim they don't mean to come across that way, but then they do it again later on.
So I'm a little confused, if perhaps I'm being too sensitive; or I need to nip it when it happens or give them an ultimatum.
Thanks Bonnie. The answer to all your questions is yes, these are all examples of abuse; stemming from issues not yet dealt with in their own lives.
Unless someone talks to us with compassion, empathy and tolerance, which includes their tone, everything else is considered abuse.