We set the tone, through our words and actions, how we get to live our lives. What we say, how we behave, the energy we bring, will either move us towards a desired outcome, or an outcome less desirable.

Setting the Tone

To set the tone is to define how we present ourselves to the world. It shapes our character, influencing how we interact with others. But setting the right tone starts with understanding—respecting our differences, taking a genuine interest in others, and being open to listening and learning. When we do this, we create the space to conduct ourselves with greater awareness, kindness and purpose.

We set the tone by correcting past experiences, asking the right questions, sharing information, openly communicating and being transparent.

Tone, Value and Behaviour

Integrity comes from alignment—when our words reflect our true intentions. If what we say doesn’t match what we mean, we create uncertainty, both in ourselves and in others. Our values and actions must work together, reinforcing who we are and what we stand for. Only then can we show others that we are genuine in our intentions and committed to what we want to create.

It's all in the tone

It’s all in the tone. We set the tone through how we describe our experiences, how we talk about ourselves. Our experiences are filled with emotion and depending on the experience, our words may either hurt us, and we will endear ourselves to no-one.

Words Hurt

Words hurt, therefore it is important to think about how to use words. Mindset and attitudes are revealed through our words. Our doubts, concerns and worries are all revealed through our words; through our tone.

We should Fix our Issues

When we negatively continue to focus on ourselves, we’re not fixing our issues and therefore our tones will never change. Although, we may often lose sight of how we project ourselves, our tone is something we can fix.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “It's all in the tone”

  1. I agree. Without the proper tone we can make our lives very uncomfortable. In fact, we may actually ruin our relationships in the long run.

    I have been an observer of my tone for as long as I can remember.

    1. Yes, guilty! I agree not watching our tones can make for difficult relationships. As a child, I don't know how many times I was told to think about my tone, but without dealing or helping me with my issues that would never change.

      As an adult it's much easier to be an observer of our tone and how we speak to others, but it's something we must do consciously. The world would be sweeter, people would be friendlier, if only we observed our tones.

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