Our experiences, whether negative or positive, shape who we are. When we approach them with a mindset of learning rather than self-blame, we allow ourselves to grow and evolve.

Self-blame

When something happens to us that's beyond our control, we often turn to self-blame, especially when there's nowhere else to direct our feelings and there's no apology in sight. As a child, I mastered this habit, turning self-blame into an art form. As the adult, I've had to peel back those layers of self-blame – to reveal my truth – I wasn't at fault for any of my experiences – of what I went through – yes they were my experiences but they weren't my lessons to learn. As children, our experiences are largely shaped by our parents, families and environment.

Acceptance helps acknowledge the reality

Finding an acceptance and learning from our experiences, helps us to acknowledge the reality of what has happened to us without judgment. If when you think about your circumstances and you're still judging, you don't have an acceptance. When you do have acceptance, change can occur, because you're not then stuck in a cycle of guilt or regret; but closure is where the real magic happens. It is important to work through your past to find an acceptance – it is everyone's stepping stone to a better future.

Making mistakes gives you space to improve

Don't beat yourself up on the mistakes you make, instead learn from those – it's how you grow. Not beating yourself up means giving yourself the grace to make mistakes and the space to improve. With self-compassion you can foster resilience, and that helps you to move forward with a clearer sense of purpose and understanding on where you went wrong. Life is about turning your mistakes into wisdom, pain into growth and growth into stepping stones – for personal and spiritual development.

The Pandemic

The pandemic has altered the very fabric of our lives, weaving in threads of isolation, fear, and uncertainty – too many mistakes have been made and it has fundamentally changed the way we do things, it has changed the way we interact. We've become more insular, more self-absorbed and less willing to help each other. The pandemic for me has certainly changed the way I am able to interact and with a mental disability. It has awoken a part of me that has become more scared of how I am able to live my life. I am not the person I was before the virus. Losing my twin has reinforced that – each day can be a struggle, just to navigate and live my life in a world that has been irreversibly changed. With a mental disability and people having changed as well – that has a greater impact on me.