The emotional solitude path stops us from communicating, being part of something that has the potential to be good.

Life is what we choose. When we fail to see what’s in front of us and continue to dwell on how we would like things to be, the picture we paint in our heads will be different to what we're being presented with.

We must come to accept and embrace our lives in the present. What we contribute to any relationship is what we will get back and that means we're to blame.

We think the grass is greener that our lives will be better elsewhere that what we've got isn't what we want. But if we ever chose another path, we'd find the grass was just the same. We would still have things to deal with. Life isn't that simple.

The reality is that we're where we're supposed to be. Life is what and how we choose it to be. It is our life: it is important we don't make our lives about everyone else.

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Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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8 comments on “Life is what we choose”

  1. Perhaps Ilana, but life doesn't feel so measured to say we choose anything. Happenstance is certainly not of our choosing, but we own it anyway.

    Perhaps to contemplate change means we're feeling an understanding about our circumstances, not that the grass is brighter on the other side; it's probably a gamble either way.

    1. Sometimes we're not always consciously aware, but you're right it's probably a gamble anyway.

      I think sometimes we think life on the other side is always greener, but for those of us who eventually make the transition we often find that it's not.

      There's a famous saying that says, 'we don't know what we've got until it's gone.' That I personally believe to be true. Perhaps we just don't get the true meaning of life.

  2. Yes, life is what we choose to make it today. We so often wish things were the way they were yesterday or dream of what things could be like tomorrow.

    We so often don't appreciate what we have today, so it's no wonder our lives can be so miserable. I have wasted far too many years living that way and am actually trying to change things as much as it is possible to.

    I have also watched so many others squaned away everything I wish that I could ever have and find it to be so very sad. Like they say, you don't realise what you have until it's gone!

    I just want to be able to finally be happy and enjoy what time I have left in this life.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, it's easy to dwell on all the wrong things and wish our lives were different.

      It's always important to see what's in front of us and not to dwell on how we would like things to be. Things are as they are, we can work to change those of course and that will always be up to us.

      But because the picture we paint in our heads of how we want things to be isn’t what we think we’re being presented with, we become demoralised at the sheer thought of it.

      I agree with you Randy, it's important for us to be happy... and from my experiences that is something we constantly have to work at.

  3. Ultimately life is what we choose but it is rarely that simple. We make choices for all sorts of reasons, not necessarily choices that we would make in other circumstances.

    1. Yes I think you're right. I believe circumstances will differ, particularly if we end up basing our choices around culture and family. How we choose to live, may not be how we get to live.

      As long as we have our independence, life should be as we choose for us to make our own decisions.

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