It’s dangerous to assume or make assumptions about anyone. The fact that we take for granted or presuppose something about someone means we’ve already decided those things are true, before we have thought the situation through again.
How do assumptions work?
Assumptions are part of a belief system we believe are true. Those assumptions are then used by us to interpret the world around us. We justify our reasoning behind the assumptions we make and then continue to reinforce those assumptions through justifications that aren’t always right.
Just because assumptions are based on what we already assume, it doesn’t mean those things aren’t subject to change further. They're subject to change because circumstances change. Beliefs never stay the same.
But as we continue to make assumptions, it’s important we recognise and question our assumptions, stopping to think about them; rather than just assume and move on to the next thought process, whilst making more assumptions.
It’s only when we come to use critical analysis to question our beliefs and our assumptions, that we begin to notice our inferences and those of others. It is easy to see then what we and others are taking for granted.
Sadly, when we take our beliefs from something we’ve previously learned and don’t stop to question those beliefs that’s when assumptions become dangerous.
Yes, it comes down to things like, 'you can't always judge a book by it's cover' which usually gets me into trouble.
There is always the expression of 'you know what happens when you assume something?' It makes an ass out of you and me too. People have said to me that they actually used to be afraid of me, because of my dangerously antisocial behavior until they actually got to know me.
My aggressive posturing comes from having PTSD and always being hyper vigilant which most people wouldn't catch on to, unless they had to deal with the issue themselves. I grew up in a world where people were only nice to me when they wanted something from me, so I became kind of jaded as to their true intentions, even if they were just being nice.
What it comes down to, is that I have dealt with the worst kind of people that humanity has to offer and so often they appeared to be nice people.
Nothing worse than those who pretend to be holier than thou, when they are actually demons in skin suits. This may sound a bit extreme and/or delusional, but considering I am an empath, that was the the best way to describe what it was like dealing with them.
I was brainwashed and forced into being nice to them, so I eventually lost the ability to tell the difference when it should have been so glaringly obvious, even to those who weren't an empath that there was something seriously wrong with these people.
It has been very difficult to relearn how to trust my instincts and not just assume certain things about people, because of what my parents tried to make us believe.
I think your last paragraph sums up your response well Randy. Yes, it's important that we learn how to trust our instincts so that we don't make assumptions about people.
We assume and we don't always assume right. Relationships would certainly be better when assumptions are taken out of the equation. If we know we can deal with what we know.
When we assume we think we know and we may not get that assumption right.
I have no interest in assuming anything about anyone, since my assumptions will be only half real.
But my almost friends often assume things about me, with their slippery friendly smiles.
Thanks Tim. Yes, I find the whole thing sad and think you're right not to assume anything about anyone.
To assume is half baked, because when anything is half baked it lacks a sound basis. We can't always know about what people deal with because we're not fully informed.
I have always had others assume they know what I deal with around my neuro issues. When it comes to friends, I believe true friends would have no interest in assuming; after all they're friends.
If anyone chooses to assume they do so at their own risk. I personally feel it's a dangerous, slippery slope and is the reason why so many fall out.