"I love the fact that my website, The CP Diary has made me stronger. Talking about my experiences in a self-contained space that feels safe has changed my attitude to life. Although my life has culminated in some bitter experiences, those experiences have enabled me to unravel my thoughts, so I can be more positive.
As a child, I hated looking at my leg and an odd-shaped foot. I also hated the fact that when I was standing straight, I was lopsided. Hate is right, because it's what I felt, but wrong in so many ways. Living inside my head for as many years as I have, I have come to see and think differently about myself.
Living with something I didn’t know I had, bizarrely gave me hope that each day I would get better. Researching and understanding my physical, mental and emotional disability, is helping me to come to terms with my disability and my experiences.
But when it comes to a disability, it’s never about us, but others who fail to support. With work on myself, I now see and think differently about myself – now looking at myself without shoes and socks on, I no longer hate looking back at my disability in the mirror."
Ilana, I love that you no longer hate looking back at your disability in the mirror, how sweet that is. I can feel the power in you.
Thank you for paving the way for those of us with doubts and challenges.
Thank you and thank you for your support also. It's been a long journey, but one if I had my time I would take again. I needed to know about my disability.
I've not only learned about myself through the process, but learned more about others and how we cannot allow their decisions or opinions of us, to change us.
Innately I always had strong beliefs that my time would come and all I wanted to know was 'what was wrong with me.' But 'my story' shows that good does come to those who wait. Yes, I was an angry child and that wasn't easy for my family, but they needed to understand my anger.
But where there is anger there is a clear issue. The mental and emotional issues around my disability should have been addressed.
Through your blog and book, you have changed your life and as a consequence you have made yourself stronger and we have learned that we can too.
That is a powerful thing you have achieved.
Thanks. Yes, I wish I could see and feel what you tell me I've done, but sadly I don't. I shall hold your comments close.
I see it as a journey that needed to be taken, I'm just pleased I've been strong enough to take it and come through the other end. That was important to me.