Massaging someone’s ego is worse than the ego itself, so why do we insist on doing it? Perhaps making someone think they’re better than they are is the very reason why we should refrain from giving them more praise.
That's different to when someone struggles with confidence issues and we choose to praise them. To massage an already inflated ego, makes a person’s ego even more inflated. Massaging someone’s ego has a lot to do with our relationship with that person and how we've always responded.
But unless someone with an ego recognises they have one, it's wise for us to massage their ego even less, or try to ignore it. It's a relationship that doesn't change, but is absolutely capable of change. It's how we choose to deal with someone with an ego.
On our part, as long as we’re tactful and to the point with them, we can avoid talking to their ego in any great length. The more direct we are, the less ego driven our conversation with them will be.
I know that in my case, I was brainwashed into being such a good people pleaser that I do it subconsciously, even at the times when I should know better.
People have taken advantage of this weakness in my life to use and abuse me, since they knew that I wouldn't do much of anything to stop them.
The worst part was always being forced to be nice to people who thought they were so much better than us, which is probably why I despise anyone who treats others very badly, just because they think that certain others are beneath them.
I have had to learn how to stand up for myself against people like this and that it is actually okay for me to do so. Most of the time I treat people the same way as I want to be treated, even if they don't.
Thanks Randy. I'm with you on this. You get to make your own decisions on how you choose to live your life and who you choose to spend time with.
It really is a shame when people choose to behave in the manner you describe, because underneath we're all the same. No one is beneath anyone or better than anyone else.
We must all learn to be more conciliatory towards each other. The world needs more of it.
The only way I would massage someone's already inflated ego is through a natural silence.
That's the only way to starve a future monster.
Thanks Tim. Yes, quite. Although that's fine if others think to do the same thing.
Unless the other person somehow gets the message that their ego isn't appropriate, there's probably not much more you can do.
You wouldn't choose to use 'natural silence' on anyone unless it was completely necessary.
If someone feels the need for an ego massage then they ought to take a long look in the mirror and ask themselves why and then enrol on a course of The CP Diary to learn humility, respect and compassion.
I've nothing more that I need to add. Your response says it all. Thank you.