Misplaced loyalty which is based on guilt, can come at a cost to our own personal, mental and emotional health. When anyone is biased towards a person or institution for the wrong reasons that loyalty becomes misplaced.
Misplaced Loyalty
It can also happen out of personal feelings of guilt, though there is no reason why that person should feel guilt, but loyalty if allowed to continue to be misplaced can be dangerous, because it may not only leave you at the mercy of other people, but it can leave you at the mercy of those who benefit from your misplaced loyalty.
Misplaced loyalty and psychological problems
Any loyalty that becomes misplaced over time can put your integrity at risk. In some cases, it may also lead to serious psychological problems. Emotional trauma can lead to misplaced loyalty, the most common form being towards parents. It can also be linked to co-dependency. Misplaced loyalties if not changed, can go on to affect our personal, social and professional lives.
Children who have been brought up by parents who are abusive, may develop misplaced loyalty issues towards their parents. In most misplaced loyalty cases, children may find it difficult to stand up for themselves, or stop any abuse. It is particularly true in inverted narcissism and co-dependency cases.
Misplaced loyalties go back to childhood
Although this can go back to our childhoods, which may need addressing, what children need, is a healthy sense of right and wrong and co-parenting. Acting responsibly and morally, means misplaced loyalty would be a thing of the past.
I'm sure that would make a great title for the book about my life. It was how I was raised and brainwashed into believing that I was supposed to be loyal to my mother.
It's no wonder that I have been in so many toxic and abusive relationships with family and friends that have made my life a living hell. They talk about women being in these kind of relationships, but it does happen to men too.
Considering I have so much more free time than I normally would, I should probably get my brain into gear to write about it. The misplaced loyalties have produced so much guilt, but it's definitely something that I need to do.
It would just be great if I didn't feel so guilty about it but I know where those feelings come from, which is half the battle.
Thanks Randy. Yes, narcissistic relationships are always toxic and the most dangerous. Misplaced loyalty is a terrible thing, not something easily handled or managed well.
Abusive relationships around narcissism tend to stop when those people are no longer in your life. Writing your experiences down in the way they happened without judgment and/or anger, is a good place to start.
When anyone is on the receiving end of narcissism, they are the ones who indeed feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you were a child.