We model our behaviour on others and expect them to be as we are, but that’s neither realistic, nor how things should be.

We are as we are, they are as they are. Unfortunately, we want them to fit into how we see them, easier in some respects, but not realistic. We are all different and as such we must adapt to fit into other people's lives.

We all come from different backgrounds, have different expectations, different experiences. We must accept that we’re different, that the way we are isn’t the way others are. We must work as a team without modelling our behaviour on others and expecting them to conform to the way we are.

We can work as a team and still have our differences. We must adapt. If someone’s behaviour is making us stressed or ill, then they must work to put that right, but friendships or relationships aren’t something should have to model.

We must always work at our relationships, be who we are without expecting or taking what we have for granted. That is how it tends to work.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Modelling behaviour”

  1. The only person we should model our behaviour on, is ourselves. It's our responsibility to ensure our behaviour is appropriate and no one else.

    If we all expect the other person to behave as we would like, we will all be disappointed.

    1. Thanks, yes absolutely. I believe too many people don't make the effort because they believe others should fit into the way we see them; how we expect and would like them to be.

      As you say with that comes disappointment. When it comes to friendships and relationships, we must all make the effort. Sadly, we don't.

  2. I indulge diversity in all forms, but on occasions I like to be around like minds.

    Can you imagine a thousand Mr. Anderson's in one place, thinking and behaving the same way?

    1. Thanks Tim. I think you're right. There are two ways to look at this. Being around like minded individuals makes for easier relationships, but being around people who are more diverse helps us experience life through others' culture.

      The more diverse we become the better people we will be. Playing it safe inhibits emotional and spiritual growth. I feel we have less tolerance now than we ever have. We're not accepting of other people because of their cultures.

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