To change the way we behave, we should be committed to change. Half measures won’t work because it's easy to fall into line on the same thought patterns we left behind. Not only will that be easy, it will also happen very quickly.

Being part of a victim scenario can be difficult, particularly as you'll already be dealing with low self-esteem and confidence issues. Victims see others as the victors, but never themselves. But we have to recognise first that we are in fact a victim. Seeing that we play the victim role is a very good place to start.

Ask yourselves the questions. For example, how did I get to this place? Am I happy to continue to play the victim role? What do I need to do to change? The clues often lie with us, with family. It's important to ask the question as to how you became a victim, but you also need to ask without judgment.

It's all about mindset and mindsets can be changed. Finding a new perspective on being a victim and understanding it, is what needs to happen.

Families tend to give children roles, maybe where you were in order of siblings, meant you had no choice. Wherever we are in sequence of age; we conform to our roles, which heighten our problems with becoming a victim.

We all develop behaviours we learn from our families and it’s those behaviours we emulate that we should consciously change. Once we begin to work on ourselves, there is no reason, why we can't turn things around.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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8 comments on “More on being the victim”

  1. I've always felt like the victim, which I know is something I need to work on.

    It's only recently been pointed out that I need to take a look at this pattern or else I'll just keep repeating it

    Thanks for the insights!

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