I was convinced I had something going on as a child. It was in my eyes, in my smile. My smile didn’t seem animated and where my siblings’ smiles were animated, my smile wasn't. It was something I kept going back to.

I have no problem with having or knowing about autism, I recognise it has given me a life through my writing, but only knowing about it at the age of 56 has made it more difficult to reconcile. I hate my autism look, which I was always aware of – as far back as a child.

I write about and normalise 'disability'

I talk about my disability because it makes me feel better; I write to normalise it not only for me, but for others also. As a nation we need to continue to talk about disability so it becomes second nature. Where we deal with a disability, it should be for others to help and accept they need to conform to what our needs are – to know that if we could do things differently, we would. No one asks to be born disabled.

Autism means we process information differently

Having autism means we automatically process information differently. For example, someone you’re talking to gives you verbal confirmation of something, but as you have autism and may need time to process the information, having it in writing helps. It is important for others to come in with a different response so they help us.

I've been locked away in my head for years, without knowing about autism. The more others know what I deal with, the better for me, as long as they work with me. In my mind, it's like having a problem halved, even if my mental and emotional disabilities are permanent.