"I hate that autism means I have little natural animation to my smile that I show little or no emotional reaction through facial expressions to situations. I hate that I wasn't told I had autism, I hate that over the years, I have continually been misjudged and misunderstood, and still I continue to be misjudged and misunderstood.

I know what happiness, excitement, surprise, anger, fear, confusion, and sadness should look like – but when it comes to truly feeling them, I’m empty. I don’t naturally express emotions in the way others seem to, and it’s something that really frustrates me. I hate it. I hate how autism distorts my emotional world.

To truly empathise, I need to not only understand the emotions of others but also have the cognitive and emotional experience to connect with them. But with the challenges I face, it becomes hard to truly relate, even when I know the concept of sympathy.

Empathy isn’t just about understanding – it’s about feeling with that person, and having the tools to express it. With autism, those tools aren’t always there. We might know the words, but showing or telling our feelings in a way others get? That’s a different story.

I often struggle to pick up on social cues, which makes it difficult to express empathy the way others might expect. I can recognise empathy, patience, compassion and tolerance, but I don’t actually feel them. In my own way, through my words, I try to show those traits, but physically, there’s no emotional reaction to accompany them.

The real challenge comes in trying to fit my life into the world around me, shaped by autism. Because I look normal, I am expected to act “normal.”  The truth is, others need to share me with autism. It’s part of me. From there, it’s about us working through my struggles together. It’s not about me trying to fit in – it’s about others helping me navigate my journey."