We are human, we are capable of adapting to all sorts of change, but we have to want to. “People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.” - Peter Senge.

The more I’m in lockdown, the more reflective I am about my experiences and how I got to this place. This quote is so true. Those close to me should have supported me around a disability I didn't know I had. I thought I'd got past my experiences. MY EXPERIENCES ARE NOT OKAY.

A Question of Trust

It goes back to trust. My disability is still just something for me. I talk about it, I keep it alive, it exists through my blog. Where I didn't know about my disability I have changed that. We shouldn't accept the cards we’re dealt, where trust is in question.

We're all Capable of Change

We're all capable of change, but we may resist changing aspects of ourselves. There seems to be a difference changing ourselves when we have motivation and responding to change when it is imposed on us and we have no choice. Through the years, my disability was mild enough for it to be buried... now through determination 57 years on, the universe has helped me keep it very much alive. It is time for others to now reconcile.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “My Experiences are Not Okay”

  1. It would have been fantastic if our parents had attempted to make things right for us. I remember seeing our other family members being taken care of by their parents, while mine were so oblivious to what we needed.

    My opinion is that if you don't want children or aren't capable of taking care of them, don't have them. Neither one of us had experiences that were okay, which I can relate to and it really sucks.

    1. Thanks Randy. There is no excuse for the way you have been parented. Looking back it's easy to see what needed to happen, when it didn't.

      All you can do is find a place for your experiences, so they don't bother you anymore, or if it helps write a letter to your parents, in the form of a 'write and burn' letter and tell them everything you feel.

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