I’m having a little bit of a downer on myself. Everything seems to be tumbling down on me. As parents, we pride ourselves on staying strong, as individuals away from being a parent, it's easy for our emotions to take their toll, particularly because it's our job to keep our family focused and happy and full time that's a lot to ask.

Truth be known, my leg is weak, spastic and I hate that the whole Cerebral Palsy thing. I don’t feel in control of it. A new day for me to journal more of what I feel. Woke up fine, but still not feeling on top of the world. I know Cerebral Palsy still has a lot to do with the way I’m feeling, but other things are getting in the way too.

Not quite sure at this stage how to resolve all that I feel, but sure these feelings will pass, they always do. How many of us have days where we just want to cut off from the world, because then we don’t have to deal with things? In the short term that's easy to do, it takes seconds; but longer term not quite. Issues lay dormant until we deal with them; they're never far away.

The 'golden thread' running through my site brings my thoughts and life together. I have a lot to be grateful for. It gives me comfort; refuge and helps me function effortlessly through hard times. Now that is positive.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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10 comments on “My feelings”

  1. I know how you feel when you want to hide from the world. I feel that way a lot, especially if I'm stressed about something. I just don't want to deal with it. I hope you start feeling better soon.

    You have my support and assistance if you ever need it. Take care.

  2. Yes, it would be far too easy to just hibernate and ignore the world, especially at this time of year. I've really been struggling not to feel sorry for myself since I know that other people have a lot worse problems than I do right now.

    Hopefully your site will continue to help you feel better, now and in the future.

    1. Thanks Randy. It's nice to know I have support from you. Hope you begin to feel better soon too. I'm here for you. Many thanks for posting.

  3. I was sad to read this post, but heartened to hear that you are also able to see a positive in how you sometimes feel.

    You do such great things with your site, both for yourself and others and you should draw strength from that.

  4. Everyone has those days where the small things seem to get to you. Glad to see you were able to lift your spirits.

    Whenever things go wrong for me, I always try to think of all the positive and good things are going on around me and all that I have. It seems to help.

  5. I had a day like that the other day. I fell 3 times in one day, it was not a good day. Tomorrow will be better for you.

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