I'm here again, but I still need to change certain aspects of my lifestyle, if I am to avoid any long-term complications with my health.

A life far from normal

Every time I think I'm on top of my problems with reflux, I find I’m clearly not. With poor muscle tone, being premature and having cerebral palsy, it’s not surprising. I want to be able to live a normal life, but my life is far from normal. I will have adjusted better with support growing up.

Now it means that my family have to fit into my lifestyle so that I get to stay well for longer. Holidays are also a problem, but I’ll try to work round those as best I can. I hate the fact that I’m tied to this horrible disease, but I also know that if I don’t manage to sort it out in the longer term, I may not have any choices about my health.

Understanding my chronic illness

Twenty-one years on, I finally understand what I’ve been dealing with for all of these years. My Doctor didn’t even know what my presenting symptoms were. If changing my lifestyle again means a healthier future, then that’s what I need to do. Last night I felt better and for the first time, I went to sleep with no reflux, no indigestion and no raised pillows.

I cannot remember the last time that happened. The sad reality for me is that I need to make these changes, before these changes are made for me. I have no choice on this one.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “My need for change”

  1. Yes, needing to make changes isn't always a very easy thing to do. I've made some changes, but there are a lot more of them that I know aren't going to be very comfortable ,but like you said, it's for my health!

    I've wasted far too many years being afraid of making changes to improve my life. The hardest part for me is that it usually involves standing up to people, which I've never really been very good at.

    I'm hoping and praying that I will have the strength to make the changes that I really need to make!

    1. Change is good Randy, but never easy.

      Improving our lives with change, whatever that change is has to be a good thing in the longer term, particularly if it's our physical health we're struggling with, which in my case I am.

      I think it's the apprehension, facing those challenges that make us want to resist change. My own experiences show that once we do make even the smallest of changes, we do have the biggest benefits. I've done better from where I came from with reflux problems, but have to do more now. You must too!

      I believe you can. You just have to have the confidence to believe you can and go for it.

  2. I also need to make changes with my health. Mainly with resting some and trying not to do everything. I feel I have to do everything so it gets done right the first time; like cleaning the house.

    My husband has tried before to do things, but says I go behind him and redo things he has done. Unfortunatelyhe is right!

    It's like I do it my way or don't do it at all. Like folding the towels. I like them folded a certain way so they will fit on the shelf better. I guess I'm a little OCD in that way.

    I really need to put me first or I won't be able to take care of the rest of them and I need to start letting others help out around here.

    1. Yes you do Lisa! I say that with the utmost respect. I thing going with something that is good enough should be just that. If we're constantly striving to meet perfection, we'll end up with both burn out and ill health.

      Change is good. It shows we're adaptable to new thoughts, which is important if we're to grow spiritually. I've made quite a few changes, but have more to change.

      Hope you get to make your changes too.

  3. Hope you have a nice holiday season after all that you have gone through lately. Here is hoping for a better 2013 health wise for you.

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