We are a neuro-divergent family, yet we only found out that’s what we are in the past few years. We have always parented in an autism friendly way, without knowing that’s what we were doing. A few years ago, both our son and daughter were diagnosed as autistic and following the process, so was my husband. Last year all four of us were diagnosed with ADHD too.

In the beginning

When our son Hudson was 6 months old, we started weaning him. He was often sick and would scream and cry at mealtimes. We now know that both he and our daughter India have sensory processing disorder. Neither of them can cope with textures, strong smells, bright lights or things that just don’t feel ‘right’. Hence, Hudson struggling with food so much.

Having seen a number of specialists the word ‘autistic’ was mentioned, however, we were told he made good eye contact and liked hugs, so he couldn’t be autistic. We now know that these misconceptions are very common. After years of just struggling with Hudson’s food we were referred to a course for anxious children. I mentioned Hudson’s rituals and traits and was told we should get him assessed. As the wait on the NHS can be up to two years, we decided to go privately.

Girls mask

The more I looked into it, the more I realised that Kelly my husband ,and India also had a lot of ‘typical’ autistic traits. During an appointment with the psychologist, she asked a few questions, and it was at this point, I realised she was describing India. As girls often mask more than boys, I hadn’t noticed anything unusual. However, we decided to get India assessed too, and both children were diagnosed as autistic when they were 7 and 9.

We discussed the pros and cons of Kelly going for an autism assessment too. We talked about it a lot with the children, who were both embracing their diagnosis. They both thought it was great that their daddy may be autistic too. Later that year, Kelly was also diagnosed as autistic, and it was the start of a whole new chapter.

Making a change

At 44, it may seem rather late to get an autistic diagnosis, yet for Kelly and for us as a family, it’s been invaluable. Having had a successful corporate career for nearly 23 years, Kelly told his boss that he was autistic. His boss replied: “You don’t look autistic.” Kelly was so shocked he left the corporate world and we launched Perfectly Autistic, a neurodiversity consultancy.

We now work with organisations to make their workplaces neurodiverse friendly, offering webinars, training and consultancy and making sure that no-one else has the same experience Kelly did.

Kelly is also a keynote speaker on autism and neurodiversity (having been diagnosed with ADHD last year) and has spoken to the UN Global Compact (UK), PepsiCo, BP, The Guardian and more and we have partnered with O2, Mind and Heathrow Express.

As a family, the autism diagnoses and journey has made us much closer, and it really has been life changing for us and we are exciting for what the future holds.