The winter months bother me physically, because I deal with a disability. I have noticed a change in my strength on my left side.

My leg tone has always been noticeable thinner, weaker and never as strong as my right, but I never knew until recently there is evidence of cerebral palsy in my arm too, which feels worse in the winter.

I remember wanting to talk about my physical issues. I was desperate to be heard, but all my efforts went unheard and I eventually gave up trying. The act of listening is a blessing, even if it doesn’t cure.

Cerebral Palsy isn’t something that goes away, it isn’t something that can be sorted. Some days I am okay, other days I struggle to bounce back.

Yes, I was angry, but I never once felt sorry for myself. Because I never understood what I was dealing with, my physical issues in my formative years became my primary focus. With no support, I struggled to take my mind off it.

With the help of my site, this is a positive first step.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “My thoughts in winter”

  1. The winter has begun to bother me as well.

    I've noticed that when it starts getting colder, that my left side feels tight. I have aches in my left arm and left leg.

    My lower back also hurts, but that may be due to snow shoveling, it's the kind that sends a shock from my butt down the back of my left leg.

    1. I feel for you Bill. It's probably standard practice given that we deal with the effects of CP, particularly in the winter.

      I hope emotionally you begin to feel better soon.

  2. I had a very bad day yesterday. I fell 3 times. I hate winter.

    It is so difficult to get around with the ice and snow. When I arrived home yesterday I looked like something out of a disaster movie. I had to put most of my clothes in the washer and wash them right away.

    This week with the damp weather we have been having, it is playing havoc on my legs. They are weaker than normal with more pain. Hopefully if we get some warmer weather my strength will return.

    1. Sorry to hear you fell yesterday and hope you're okay today.

      I am hoping the same Randy. I know the summer months certainly help CP.

  3. I can't stand the winter. It makes me hurt and I usually feel bad. I probably have seasonal affective disorder or SAD.

    I have a harder time dealing with things and people in general, (probably because other people are as miserable as I am). I never really liked winter.

    I absolutely love summer and the heat. I just sit on the porch and soak up the sun. I'm usually reading or something...and sometimes in the winter I'll meditate on the summer, imagining the warm sun on my body which makes me feel a little better.

    1. I think a lot of people will have SAD, they probably just don't know it. Hope you feel better soon Lisa, I know how hard the winter is for you.

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