It's taken me too many years to understand why I continue to have up and down days. It has taken me too many years to understand everything there is to know about my neurological impairments and why they make me feel panicked.

Because my perceptions are heightened, any issues I have to deal with are also heightened. I have never struggled with the concept of change, I struggle with change that involves having to deal with sensory reckoning.

My rewiring changes everything. I hate that I have heightened perceptions that make my issues bigger and scarier. On a daily basis I have to deal with my sensory perceptions first, then with any presenting issues that crop up.

Because things never feel or sit right the first time, I have to constantly bring my thoughts back into line so that my issues don't blow up into something bigger and for me that's always been a constant battle.

I would love to hear from anyone who deals with cerebral palsy, who also has problems with sensory perceptions in the way I do.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “My ups and downs”

  1. I know totally what you mean. I constantly find myself feeling overwhelmed with situations.

    I tend to over think things and by doing so they become bigger than they truly are. This causes me a lot of emotional distress.

    1. Awww thanks Maria. Your response really helps. I hope it helps you too to know you're not the only one either.

  2. This must be very hard for the person concerned and their families, as it requires a lot of understanding on both parts; especially as the response to any situation seems quite random until it happens.

    1. Yes when we deal with any sensory issues, our response will always seem random, until that response is repeated again and again. It is that which allows us to understand the pattern that is formed. it's just a matter of remembering how we respond to certain circumstances.

      I think with it a little bit of patience and understanding all family members can work things out.

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