For those of us who have lived and been brought up around narcissistic behaviour, the cycle of abuse never ends until that person gets help.

With that kind of behaviour, it's often difficult to know where the good mood starts and ends, because narcissistic behaviour morphs into other behaviour traits. As a general rule, we don't put much thought into our behaviour and how we unconsciously behave. We just act or react.

How behaviour traits work

Generally, behaviour traits are driven by an accumulation of our emotional state, through past experiences and self-esteem. Behaviour traits aren't always filtered, thinking about what we're doing or why we're doing it. Emotions such as frustration, anger, and obsession come from our unconscious thinking.

Narcissistic behaviour at play

When these emotions are part of everyday present experiences, the brain filters new stimuli through those already formed not yet dealt with pathways. When someone with narcissistic behaviour interprets his environment through those already flawed filters, he has already interpreted our intentions as threatening to his own sense of self and that creates anger.

Since narcissists are automatically concerned with how others might perceive them that will insight their anger even more, because they need to be admired and considered superior.

This is their automatic reaction and isn't something they think they have reacted or acted badly to, they will see that our behaviour was offensive to them.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Narcissistic behaviour”

  1. I had someone with narcissistic behaviour traits in my life for a long time and it was very difficult indeed to have any meaningful relationship.

    Everyone was wrong and he was right and everything had to be on his terms or you knew about it. It was quite frightening. It was only when he passed that we fully realised just how extensive his behaviour was.

    Having lived through that I see those traits more easily in other people and I wont put up with it.

    1. Thank. Yes, where you say 'it was quite frightening' that sums up Narcissistic behaviour in its totality.

      That is what Narcissistic behaviour is. The world is made up of people that behave that way and yet somehow we seem to accept it as the norm.

      The sad thing is that when it's closer to home, it's not something we easily recognise. It's something we put up with and don't stop to question until we question it.

      Perhaps we need to question it more now.

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