Anyone can change the way they see themselves. We’re all capable of change changing how we see others through our core inner beliefs.
The reason why it may be slightly more difficult is because our beliefs are usually based around negative pre-conditioning brought about through childhood.
But we must work on the root cause of our negative pre-conditioning, if we are to change our mind-set. When we bury our head in the sand, living in denial on the things we're ignoring, blaming others for our lives, we will never change our mind-set, or our lives.
Our attitude towards things that have happened can never change without us going back to and changing the root cause. It’s all to do with the ‘effect versus cause.’ An effect is something that is produced by a cause and comes about through a consequence or result of an event that has happened.
The root is something that we move on from that produces an effect. The root is always behind our issues, not yet resolved. Understanding the root cause is central to changing both the root and our mind-set. Once the root has been addressed, we will move on to positive thinking.
When we address the root cause, we will think and act positively, ready to work on new changes, challenges with successful outcomes.
Yes, this is exactly what I need to work on as far as deprogramming myself, like they have to do with former cult members. I was brainwashed as a child into being such a people pleaser that I didn't learn how to address my own needs, let alone how to take care of myself.
My feelings were irrelevant along with what I wanted, so it has been extremely difficult to even consider that I could change things and that it was actually okay to do so.
Both of my parents are finally dead so they can't control my life any longer, at least as far as in my mind. I watched them waste most of their lives and die slow horrible deaths, which is something I want to try to avoid.
Mostly I just want to feel like my life is actually worthwhile and to die with some small amount of dignity knowing that I accomplished something to make the world a better place.
Absolutely you should want to Randy. And you can. A lot of your thinking is down to unconscious thinking.
You know so much about your parents and how what they did with you was wrong. I honestly believe (and my blogs show) that just because we have lived one way, doesn't mean we can't change the way we live now.
I was like you. I always aimed to please as a child. I pleased everyone as a child and continued to do the same thing as an adult, until one day I woke up and realised I was no better off.
Parents don't see what you do. They see how you behave through others' eyes and that's the problem.
I believe you can go on to incorporate change, away from the 'negative pre-conditioning.' My site shows us how.
Thank you Ilana! This is something I needed to read this evening.
Thanks Bonnie. I'm pleased it has helped. This is exactly why I write. It helps me understand my own life too. That you're not alone.