As children, we don’t stop to question the decisions our parents make for us. We may assume their decisions are in our best interests and for our own good.

But as parents, we either make decisions for our children based on what we want, or we may make decisions based on our children’s best interests.

Early on and learning on the job, I came to understand how important it was for my children to be independent free-thinkers. It is important to make decisions for children, based on the child and not on what we may want for ourselves.

Living with a disability has helped me see life differently. I spent my formative years observing my world. It wasn’t something I could understand at the time, I just knew I was different. I was never encouraged to be an independent thinker, and intuitively I was aware of how things should have been.

The inability of parents to let go of their children often stem from their own insecurities; it may just not be something they stop to question. Looking back on my life, I know I missed out on support.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Not stopping to question”

  1. I can relate in a way.

    I wasn't brought up to be independent either and to an extent I am still dependent on my husband for certain things, but I think I'm just being lazy in letting him take care of certain things. I don't want to the stress of dealing with them.

    I have finally let my daughter go to live her own life and discover the world for herself. My parents kept me close until the day I was married.

    I even had a curfew til I was married!!

    1. You're right. I think parents do try too hard to some extent, but with so many outside influences it's hard not to.

      Children change and grow a lot quicker than they used to. Parents are trying to fit in too.

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