"I’ve talked about my relationship with autism and the difficulties I have in forming and fitting into people’s lives around it, but I haven’t gone into detail about other people’s relationship with me and how they deal with my autism.
This not only applies to me, but to others who also deal with autism. Autism makes us socially awkward. We don’t do spontaneous and we need to be in a routine for us to feel less socially awkward. But it is other people’s attitudes to how we manage ourselves that really need to change. They need to accept that if we could do things differently, we would. No one chooses to be socially awkward, if they can be socially accepted instead.
As a child, I was considered stubborn. Diagnosed at 55 with autism, it was never about me being stubborn, there were things I mentally and emotionally struggled with that were continually being ignored. I have difficulties with learning, feeling, thinking coherently and communicating and that can be annoying to others. I have learned to adapt, but others struggle to adapt to me. It is important we are accepted.
For those with moderate to severe autism, it is likely they will have behavioural problems around their autism, and they will need a lot of support."
Acceptance isn't something that I have had a lot of experience with, even though I have tried hard for most of my life.
Only recently have I realised that it isn't as important as I once thought, which has allowed me the freedom to move on, but still hasn't broken down the barriers.
People act like we choose to be the way we are when we would rather be anything but. I have wasted most of my life trying to pretend to be normal, but I know that I'm not exactly normal and I shouldn't have to pretend to be.
I have watched so many others waste their lives trying to be what they aren't and I don't want to waste the rest of mine doing that anymore.
Thanks Randy. Yes, I don't want you to waste your time anymore. The people that want to be with you, will be with you for you.
'Only recently have I realised that it isn't as important as I once thought, which has allowed me the freedom to move on' - I'm glad. It's the right thing to do.
We shouldn't have to beg others to like us or beg them to want to be with us. Acceptance comes when we learn, we're okay as we are.
Obviously if there are things we need to change, it is important to change those things, but others must be accepting on what we deal with.
If the shoe were on the other foot, they would expect the same of us.