Being a certain way means it’s easy for us others to tar us with their brush, if they're that way inclined. It would be easier for them to pin the blame on us, even if we weren't to blame.

Why would that someone choose to see past how we are, when it’s easier for them? But perhaps that’s the point, if it’s easier for them, they won’t see the need for change. Sadly, we all have access to information that can be used to create personal opinions about us, whether it's through family, society, or social media too.

So how do we keep others from hurting us?

Mud sticks of course, but even when it sticks, how can we we choose to still see things more positively? The answers lie with us. We must maintain and stay focused on where we want to be and be secure in who we are.

Unfortunately, when others throw us off balance, it means we’re practically there. All they’ve done is tip us over the edge on how we already feel. But the more self-assured, confident and balanced we are, the less others will have opportunity of intimidating us, blame us, or throw mud.

Other people’s perceptions don’t matter as much as our thinking matters. There is a famous proverb that says, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ In other words, it doesn’t matter what other people say about us, what matters is what we think about ourselves.

I would go so far as to say what also matters is what we believe. When our beliefs are strong enough, when we see ourselves more positively and begin to believe in ourselves, it won’t matter what others think or say about us. We know what we know. We don’t need to convince others what we already know.

Other people’s perceptions of us will always be different. It doesn't matter what we do or how we are. It's how they choose to see us and until they choose to see us differently, there’s nothing we can do about it.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Others' perceptions”

  1. Thank you Ilana, this blog is beautiful! What a wonderful reminder for us all to remember.

    I had my friend read this, whose son has Cerebral Palsy. I sent her the link to check out, so hopefully you'll hear from her on here soon.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. That is so kind of you. For anyone who ever finds themselves in this position, this blog will serve as a gentle reminder.

      It teaches us to look beyond what we see. That is so important. All is not what it seems.

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