It is important I can work around my autism, which means others need to understand what I deal with and work with me. With a non-diagnosis I never understood that's what it was. I was simply expected to conform.
It is important to understand those who are autistic. Having and dealing with autism is made all the more difficult and confusing for us, because we don’t always understand how we present – we just know we're different. Many adults are still not diagnosed.
Autism and Multi-tasking
But with autism, coping with more than one information stream is difficult. If my mind is focused elsewhere and someone is talking to me, I don't always take in what they’re saying. I tend to have to take a brain break, so it doesn’t switch off trying to take in too much information.
Autism and Social Rules
When it comes to conversations and communication, people automatically assume gestures, tone of voice and eye contact are something we can deal with, and with ease. They also assume we have an ability to hold on to other things, such as social rules, social context and relevant background facts. For most people this works most or all of the time, but can cause endless confusion in conversations between autistic and non-autistic people.
Filtering is Difficult
Filtering is difficult. I find it difficult to switch between tasks. It takes time and effort for me to change direction. In other words, my autistic brain has a lot of inertia and resists a change in state. A sudden change of plan means I have to completely reset and work out how to deal with a change in circumstance and that can make me panicked.
My Experiences are usually Intense
I experience things intensely, usually related to concerns. When my attention is fully focused on something, my brain throws everything it can at it.
Difficult to let go of concerns
I find it impossible to let go of concerns that I can’t find a resolve on. I find it difficult to just let things drop, or wait to see how things go. Someone's reassurance doesn’t help. Situations or conversations can sometimes be confusing depending on how involved the situation or conversation is.
Delayed Reactions to Conversations
Sometimes a question might have been answered, but with a delayed reaction it means I don’t always hear it, so I have to ask again. Things that drop out of my awareness usually stay dropped. It’s hard for me to keep tabs or my attention on lots of things at once, multi-tasking is impossible.
Autism and Monotropic Thinking
I may come across as indifferent, awkward just because my brain fails to acknowledge, understand or act on things. All of these features are a manifestation of a monotropic thinking style. It is no wonder I have anxiety, confusion and feel overwhelmed.
People who don't have any of the issues that we do, don't have any clue as to what it's really like. I have always had a knack for understanding people with autism like my niece, when others didn't have a clue.
I also have a very hard time when dealing with people, since I don't understand all of the social clues and how to deal with people. They aren't very understanding about anyone who is in the least bit different.
I was also brainwashed into an oblivious way of thinking, which made me only see people in a positive way, which isn't the way the world works.
It does help tremendously when dealing with those who can understand your issues and are willing to work with you.
Thanks Randy. Yes, it's only when we struggle ourselves, that we understand fully what others struggle with.
I am pleased you understand your niece Randy. It will not only help her around her autism, but helping her should bring you closer together.
Life is hard enough, made easier when family get along and the help is there. Good for you. I agree it helps when others understand us and are willing to work with us.
It's not just important that people understand those with autism or any other mental condition, but essential. Communication is central to our relationships and we will struggle, unless we understand each other and how we 'work.'
I am pleased you finally have a fuller understanding of yourself. It's now up to others to understand that too. How you got to this place is a whole other story.
As you say, it is 'essential' others understand autism and any other mental condition, but our realities sadly play out differently in day to day life.
When it comes to relationships and any mental condition including autism, there has to be an understanding on the part of the non-autistic adult. Whilst I appreciate relationships should be a two-way street, when it comes to any mental illness it never can be.
Where the brain isn't capable of thinking 'normally' allowances must come from others. Acceptance is necessary because that takes the pressure off wishing our circumstances were different and then finding they're not.