It is of course important that we protect ourselves where we must, but our role is also to support others too.

However hard it is, not protecting our loved ones, simply allows mistrust and blame through the back door. Whether it’s a friend, in a relationship, family or a work colleague looking for support, unless something happens and it becomes obvious we can no longer support that person, our primarily role is to support, as we would want them to support us.

Unfortunately, some of us will choose to go with the easier option, particularly when it comes to family and family issues that are not easily resolvable and through stress, when we fail to offer support.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Our supporting role”

  1. I think we just need to respect others' opinions and not take them personally. Their opinions are a reflection of themselves and doesn't make them right or wrong.

  2. I was raised to always support others before myself, so it's not surprising I have such a hard time taking care of myself.

    It's OK to be supportive of others but not to the extent that you ignore your own needs all the time.The point is that I don't always know how to balance the two like normal people do. It's hard to feel okay with taking care of others when you don't feel okay with taking care of yourself.

    I was always made to feel guilty and ashamed if I dared to do something for myself, so it's no wonder I'm so neurotic! The only way I can take care of anyone else is to be able to take care of myself before others, even my own daughter and family!

    1. Thanks Randy. Without taking care of yourself you cannot take care of others, you're right. There is a fine line between looking after ourselves and looking after others, but since you've always looked after others first, perhaps it's time you even the scales out.

      As a child I used to always put family first, partly because it was who I was, partly because of my need to be accepted because of my physical difficulties and partly because I wasn't encouraged to take control. I didn't really know who I was.

      I believe we will eventually find the right balance, experience often shows us that but when it comes to our relationships and family, we must always be supportive, whilst we continue to look after ourselves.

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