Being the recipient of another person’s toxic behaviour will make your life toxic. When someone controls, is critical, or goes on to make decisions for you, then you know you're living a toxic life.
A toxic relationship is having little to no control over your life. Being dependent on someone else is a sign of a toxic life. Recognising toxicity isn’t always obvious because we don't always equate our lives in that way, or because we're not connecting with the situation, or because we're unconsciously choosing to ignore it.
For those who see it, it's often easier not to say anything, than it is to say something and try and do something about it. As you continue to live your toxic lives, you'll continue to convince yourself that all is well.
If it were so easy for us to change how we live our lives, many of us would have done it by now. Generally, people are well intentioned, insecure in others and that is often the reason why their behaviour may turn toxic.
Even if it’s not intentional, when it comes to parenting, parents may not always get that their children have desires and emotional needs that need to be met.
Other parents may be more hostile and bitter towards their children and make their relationship with their children about them. If it's left to manifest, any toxic situation can make people stressed and ill.
In my experience toxicity is part of the family scenario, so it can be difficult to get away from. I am a firm believer in putting space between those concerned and that certainly worked in my case.
Thank you. Yes I too believe space helps dissipate difficult and angry situations.
I feel drained of my substance when I'm around toxic people. It's like being under the influence of a virus followed by an infection. So like Brad, I try to keep my distance and more.
Sometimes it's the most beautiful cutthroat people who kill you softly over time.
Thanks Tim. What an amazing analogy. I agree totally. For me, it's probably less of the beautiful and more of the cut-throat.
Sadly, it's not something we easily notice; but when we look back that's when we inevitably see the patterns that have been formed.
My parents were very toxic as was our dysfunctional lives, so it was what I became used to. I didn't really know anything different, so it's no surprise that I kept repeating the same patterns over and over!
You live what you know became the running theme of my life and I always felt like I actually deserved to go through the horrible things that I did. I have watched so many others do the same thing over the years and kept wondering why; but now I finally know.
It becomes the norm after so long, of living that way. The trick I imagine is to learn how to stop repeating those patterns and decide that we don't have to suffer through those same things that we always did.