I must have been aware from a small age that unconsciously my life was out of kilter with my disability but was never sure why.

Out of kilter 

We don’t see ourselves out of kilter, instead we may think others are out of kilter and in some cases that may be true. It is usually someone else with the problem.

Living with and co-managing a disability

I was out of kilter with my disability, which would have a ripple effect on my life. With a learning disability, school needed to adapt to a different way of teaching because I had a different way of learning. Those close to me also needed to adapt their lives to fit into mine.

Anyone living with a disability, means others need to change the way they interact. The world needs to be more inclusive, so we get to live out lives comfortably.

Decades on and I am grateful to have discovered a voice in a world where I had no voice. Through writing, I use my time and space to raise awareness of subjects that are close to me and issues that need attention in the wider world.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Out of kilter”

  1. While you felt you were 'out of kilter' with your disabilities, that changed with your diagnoses, you turned around all those negative experiences to help others.

    In doing so you are selfless, focussed and driven and I don't know anyone so 'in kilter.'

    1. Thank you. I didn't see it all those years ago. I have had to work at my disability over the years to understand 'me.'

      I am perfectly in kilter now; it is important others adapt to how I am. One thing my experiences have taught me growing up, particularly when it comes to dealing with a disability, is you can never give in, or up.

      I learned that without the support I needed to be my own support. It is the reason I became focused driven. I know that consciously, there were times I struggled to join up the connections or what everything meant, but I got there.

      Also, spirit understand us perfectly, more than we understand ourselves. Spirit works on intent; it is intent that plays its part in how our lives will work out.

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