I was a ‘seen and not heard’ child. I didn’t get a say in how things went, and with a disability, I admit to many years of mental and emotional struggle.

Parenting styles can differ

Parenting styles can differ. Authoritarian parents, expect their children to follow the rules without exception. Their parents make their choices, and the children are expected to fall into line.

The parent takes control, with little consequence or regard for their child’s needs or opinions. Instead of disciplining the child, the parents may use punishments.

Children learn by encouragement

Whether you’re an authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved parent, children learn more when they're encouraged and to participate in thinking about what they want for themselves, with their parents' help.

When I was growing up, with the odd family exception, parenting was a generational thing. Parenting was passed through the generations. With later generations, parenting styles have changed and parenting styles have eased.

Being a mentally disabled parent  

For me, being mentally and emotionally disabled, as a parent, I have had to adjust my parenting style and base my own parenting around my gut, moral, intuitive and insightful practices. If something feels right, I go with it.

Whatever your parenting style, and unless your parenting styles concur with that of your partner, it’s easy to be the bad cop, just by saying something your child doesn’t agree with.

A child/parent relationship is easier to maintain when children are small. But it isn’t just about a parent, or their parenting styles. As soon as a child goes to school, outside influences may also dictate children’s behaviour.

Supportive parents

It is important children have supportive parents, and equally important that parents are on the same page. As part of parenting styles, mediation is extremely important.