We’ve probably all been stubborn at some point in our lives, but when does being stubborn interfere with your life, your family and friendships?
Stubborn people think they’re right most or all of the time. It’s pointless trying to tell someone who is too stubborn to listen, because they only listen to themselves. It’s also pointless trying to argue with them, because they won’t back down, they won’t give in and more to the point they don’t give up.
Stubborn people usually do things a certain way. Their daily thought patterns are the same, they tend not to deviate for fear of change. They can also be very defensive about things and will continue to stand their ground, it doesn’t matter the point and with whom.
There is no point in arguing with someone who is stubborn. They’re right and we’re wrong. Someone stubborn is also too busy thinking about his or her next move on how to win an argument, to think about what the other person says. What does it all mean in terms of maturing and growth? In a nut-shell it doesn’t.
Someone who is too stubborn to listen will never emotionally grow, they can never grow. They live their life blinkered, always relying on their own judgments. They’re also not willing to try out new things, because they're only listening to themselves.
They also tend to live very sheltered lives, repeating the same processes daily without learning how to improve new skills.
You have just described my daughter. She is very stubborn and she makes it very difficult for me to get my point across to her when she won't even listen.
She always has an answer to everything even if it is the wrong one. She thinks about what is best for herself no matter what happens to others.
If she cares about others you can't tell.
I have probably described many people Lisa. The key is being able to accept that someone else has a right to an opinion and that can be very hard if a different mindset has set in. I believe a lot of how we behave is in-built and what we see around us, particularly as far as family are concerned.
I think if and when your daughter is feeling the way you describe; it's probably better to wait until she's feeling better. That would be the time to go in and talk to her. To try when she's not, won't work for either of you.
I always said and continue to say I got a double dose of stubborn, one from both sides of the house. I think my parents would agree with me.
Sometimes when I dig my heals in no one can move me. It can work in a positive way because if I have a project to do, I tend not to stop until it is finished.
I can be very focused which comes from self employment for over 25 years.
From what you say Randy, it sounds like you being stubborn comes from what you've seen with your family, but from my own experience, growing up around it is not always a good thing. We tend to emulate what we see and learn.
The upshot of that is that through determination you are less likely to give up until you've finished the job in question, even to the point of stubbornness; which is a good thing.
Your description is so accurate of a family member it's quite uncanny. She is exactly as you describe, but would be the last one to recognise that.
I think when we have those character traits it's not something that we see in ourselves. It's usually how we think others are.