Our personal boundaries are the boundaries we work our lives around. It’s the boundaries we create for ourselves that we expect others to abide by.
We have personal boundaries, but others may ignore them. Boundaries are there to tell others what they can and can’t expect from us and what we expect from them. Personal boundaries are usually put in place by us, to protect us from people who are demanding, pushy, controlling and abusive.
The most common of boundaries are:
Physical boundaries
Physical boundaries apply to our personal space, our bodies and our privacy.
Emotional boundaries
Our emotional boundaries are the boundaries we use to separate our responsibility and emotions from another person’s boundaries. Emotional boundaries are healthy boundaries that protect us from feeling guilty for another person's problems, or negative feelings. Those boundaries also help us negate and stop us from taking other people’s comments personally.
Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries, internal boundaries that involve our own feelings and responsibilities to ourselves and other people.
Mental boundaries
Mental boundaries apply to our opinions and values. If we are gullible our mental boundaries aren’t clear enough. If we find it hard to hold on to our opinions, or are easily coerced or swayed into another person’s thinking, our mental boundaries are weak. There is also suggestion that if we are argumentative or defensive, we also have weak boundaries.
Other boundaries include sexual boundaries, which protect us from non-consenting sexual activity and touch, when, where and with whom. Spiritual boundaries relate to our beliefs that connect us to a higher power.
Spiritual boundaries relate to our beliefs that connect us to a higher power, helping us nurture a spiritual life. Boundaries are our rules. The hard part is making sure others don’t cross them.
Boundaries are something I don't have a lot of experience with! It is what I need to be working on now, since I wasn't allowed to have them as a kid.
I have spent most of my life just letting people walk all over me, which has to change. Life isn't very enjoyable when you're doing what everybody else wants. There were things I wanted to do as a child, but never had the opportunity to be able to do!
My parents never had appropriate boundaries, so they didn't set a very good example for what we were supposed to do for ourselves.
It would be fantastic at this point in my life to feel like it's okay to have strong boundaries and be able to live my own life for the first time!
Thanks Randy. Boundaries are all about our own personal space and it's important we all have them.
Even though you never had boundaries as a child, I believe it's okay for you to have strong boundaries now and for you to live your life for the first time. It's right.
Your words in this blog are the very reasons why I haven't been sleeping very good lately. That what people do is incredibly selfish and sometimes aggressive, no matter what unnecessary risks are involved. And if genuine innocents came into this world, they'd probably have clenched fist upon arrival.
In the old days people didn't cross boundaries, in fact, they protected them; I have nostalgia for those times.
Thanks Tim. Yes, the words in my blog have also been the reason why over the years I also haven't slept well.
Like you, I've also never really been in a position where my boundaries were protected. I wish they had have been. I can only imagine how that might feel.
I never had boundaries introduced by a parent as most children would, so it's no surprise that I have had to learn them myself; with not inconsiderable problems along the way.
I agree boundaries are really important and they should form the basis of a respectful relationship with all those we come into contact with.
Thanks. Yes, not having boundaries may seem easier because we're able to do what we want to do without personal consideration for others, which in the short term may seem easier.
That said, the down side to that of course is that we all need boundaries in order to function with other people. I believe that without boundaries it's virtually impossible to understand other people's boundaries and not to cross the line.
When we grow up with personal boundaries, it's easier to understand what those are, understand more about other people's personal boundaries and what it means to cross that personal boundary line. We mustn't.