Usually, when children are young they have small problems and therefore their problems will always seem easier.
It may be that when children grow into adults, parents find it difficult to help their children with their problems, because they're dealing with adult problems. That part for any parent isn't easy and can take years of practice to master, even for themselves.
It's may also not be easy for parents to help their children understand how to perceive and resolve their problems, because problem solving isn't an overnight fix. It can take days or even weeks for us to know how to solve a problem.
At the same time, it may also be difficult for parents; particularly if they're trying to help and their children aren’t living at home full time. Out of sight, out of mind. That part of parenting also comes with the territory.
I have it from both ends. I have a young child and then two older adult children. It's easier with the young child because I can tell him what to do and he pretty much listens to me, but with the older kids it is harder.
One of my daughter's doesn't ask for help hardly, at all. She figures things out for herself or asks her dad, but the youngest daughter is always in situations that I don't know the answer to and it makes it harder that she lives 3 hours away and is bi-polar.
She will always have problems and needs to learn to deal with them better, but I'm here if she needs me, anytime. I don't know the answers to all the problems and have to tell just to figure it out the best she can, or we put our heads together and figure it out.
Two heads are better than one sometimes.
Thanks Lisa. Dealing with any problems is hard, but dealing with someone who has Bipolar must be even harder. From your description of how you deal with everything Lisa you seem to have things in hand and that's great.
Emotionally dealing with adult children's problems can be very tying and draining. That part of parenting can be difficult, particularly if there is no let up in what they're trying to deal with.
But as parents we will always try to do what we can and help where we can. That's our job.
Yes, it can be quite difficult especially if they're living far away. I've come to realize that after trying to help my daughter who lives about 2,000 miles away.
There were things that I would suggest to her but didn't realize she wasn't very motivated to do them until I finally talked to her mother. It's so very hard to learn at what point you have to let things go with them because in the end they're either go to do it or not do it. My biggest concern has just been that, even with her CP she would be able to do most things that other people are able to do!
What I hadn't factored in, is that she hasn't really been pushed to do these things so she hasn't really learned a lot of the life skills she needed to! She's also so very much like me on top of being so self-conscious because of her CP that I know it must be so very hard to just go out there and deal with the world.
People can be so very cruel, especially to someone they consider 'different,' which I forget sometimes. I just find it so very hard to accept some some days that I wasn't always there for her when she was younger in the ways that I needed to be as a parent!
Now the most I can do is just listen to her and do the Skype thing which is such a great thing. I've made all the suggestions I could have and it's up to her what she does with them. It would be great if she had friends and was able to get out to do more things, but I can't do it for her, especially because she's living so far away.
I just want her to be happy and healthy so that she can eventually have the life she talks about having! Just such a very complicated and confusing thing at times. I'm just trying to do what's best for her sake and sometimes it does mean letting go!
Your last paragraph speaks volumes, thanks Randy.
You're absolutely right I am sure we all want our children to be happy and healthy, but we also have to let go too. It's part of the parent process too.