“Relationships fail when people take their own insecurities and project them as their partner’s flaws.” – Steve Maraboli
Quotes can make us think, or they can resonate with us in some way, because what we're reading is our experience. We should ask the question, why some people use their insecurities and project them as our partners, or others' flaws instead.
No one seems to take responsibility for themselves, let alone their actions and it’s happening in society and in the wider world. It is being played out on the centre stage in government as I write this. This is the biggest travesty. Countries acting as 'nanny states' where we're being told what to do, without any recourse on those making the political decisions.
While we all live with insecurities and have issues to grapple with, if those insecurities are left to manifest themselves into our psyches, they can change the way we see and make decisions, how we choose to deal with others.
The many spoil it for the few. It’s unfair not to take responsibility and instead insist on making our issues or insecurities about others. When we make our lives about others, we’re convincing ourselves there’s nothing wrong with us.
Relationships should be about making the best of what we have and building on that and working through our insecurities. We all have them.
Yes, I know this feeling all too well since I have been in this kind of relationship far too many times, especially in the past 12 years.
Everything is usually my fault since I haven't done everything the way my girlfriend would and most of the time I only think of myself. My mother was this way towards me, so it's no wonder I have been repeating the same patterns, but with different women.
It really isn't fair to me considering what I have done for her over the years and especially the past couple of years. Most women would be thrilled to be with a guy who does things like takes out a car loan in his name to get her a new car, I would hope.
Our relationship has been stagnant for a very long time but I think it's time to finally pull the plug and move on, for my own sanity's sake.
Thanks Randy. Yes, you've got to do what you have to do for your own sanity, you're right. You don't want to make yourself sick.
You mentioned a point about your mum Randy. I've heard it said this is what we do, but on a subconscious level.
But now you know the patterns, perhaps you can work to change certain aspects of your life. I believe it's necessary if you are going to have the life and relationship you deserve to have.
I find it both sad and selfish that relationships fail when people take their own insecurities and project them as their partner’s flaws, as if their partners are somehow to blame for how they are.
But at least you know none of this is down to you Randy.