Relationships can be very confusing primarily because we fail to understand the relationship dynamics and just how our relationships need to work and ignore the very things that can make our relationships better.
We make relationships complicated
We make our relationships complex and complicated. If we learned to open up and talk about things and communicate more; we wouldn’t get caught up in petty and hurtful dialogue that may often follow.
Our failure to understand the dynamics of our relationships, makes it more difficult for us to resolve conflict, therefore helping us move beyond current problems.
Influencing relationships
Unconsciously people may influence their partner’s behaviour without wanting to be controlled or influence themselves. Most disagreements stem from control, rather than conflict having much to do with the initial issue. Not all relationships are evenly matched.
Relationship dynamics
The real issues are the dynamics. Relationships can sometimes be a battle of the wills, unless you’re someone who is happy to go with the flow. But problems in relationships usually stem from unconscious experiences, which can interfere with how couples feel about each other, and not the problems they’re fighting over.
How 'disagreements' look
Most disagreements usually mean, ‘I am upset with you’ and nothing to do with what started the initial disagreement. Not everyone will know why they’re struggling, and those who do know, don’t always know how to correct it, or if they will.
Going with familiarity
Sometimes it's easier to go with familiarity, than try to forge a new life on their own. Apprehension usually has something to do with it, familiarity although it’s not the answer, it is often easier.
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Relationships are complicated, very complicated. One day you find yourself happy, the next day you're zapped of energy trying to maintain them.
Personally, I carry the illusion of perfect relationships in my heart, but carrying that thought is probably insane.
Perhaps I need to learn to love imperfection, since I'm not perfect at all.
Thanks Tim. You're absolutely spot on. Relationships are complicated, very complicated and yet they seem easy. But they're not at all.
We all want our relationships to work, to be perfect. We paint this perfect picture in our heads that if certain things were to change, we would have our perfect relationship.
But the realities of relationships are far from perfect. We can make it happen, we don't because we expect others to do it, we're immune to how we are. The problem is always someone else.
Anyone with a disability is excluded from the 'relationship dynamic' scenario. Their starting point is the disability they deal with and that will always have to come first.