"Having worked on my book for 3 years, outlining my life with what I later learned was a disability and my experiences as they happened, leaving no stone un-turned, I am still left with a sense of foreboding. I didn’t get my chance to have my say, to talk to my parents about my disability.
I could write another book putting a different slant on my experiences, and I would be well justified, but I would still have the same answers, the same foreboding. My life hasn't been easy. While as parents we don’t go to school to understand how to work through our issues, enough to help our children, accepting responsibility for what we do to our children, is the first step.
How do you reconcile about those not caring enough to tell you that you were born with a disability. My parents needed to selflessly give me the tools I needed to be able to function in my own normal. As you turn the pages on my cerebral palsy books, it becomes an account of a life lived, an understanding, and a motivational guide on how each of us can become better people through understanding our experiences, no matter what those are.
I take responsibility for myself. I talk about my disability so that I can take responsibility and feel better about those responsibilities, but will never have closure."
If you fancy reading either of my books, you can grab paperback and Kindle copies on Amazon, or through the following link https://www.thecpdiary.com/my-books
It would have been fantastic if my parents had acknowledged what they did, but they always blamed their troubles on each other.
AA talks about acceptance but it's something I've had a very hard time with. It took me a long time to realize that just because I accept something doesn't mean I have to like it.
They never taught me life skills so it's no wonder I kept screwing up badly. I'm trying to learn how to do the right thing now, but it's hard when nobody has shown you how.
Thanks Randy. Yes, it would. Without the life skills, it can be difficult, but not impossible to understand how to change things.
But either through our successful and not so successful experiences, it is possible to find out how. Like me, you owe it to yourself to bring closure on your experiences, regardless of how bad you were parented.
You cannot change your past, or even your parents, but your experiences as a child and in the teenage years are your parents' responsibility. Don't own those.
Living or not, your parents are still accountable and responsible. That will never change. But sometimes we must accept the inevitable and find a different way to think and bring closure if you can.