Do we say what’s really irritating us, are we honest about how we feel? Problems will always arise when we're not really being honest about how we feel and instead choose to avoid the subject altogether. Honesty pays, is the best policy and puts trust between people.
It not only makes relationships more open and transparent but also saves problems further down the line by avoiding those mandatory fall outs. Being honest helps us avoid untimely misunderstandings on the issues that affect us in our relationships.
In some cases, it may be the difference between patching things up, or walking away, but all relationships need working at. Perhaps our decision to walk away is one of the reasons we choose not to say anything, but it will never help us when it comes to forming new relationships. Mistakes will always follow us, unless they're dealt with.
We may also be doing ourselves an injustice by walking away, because when it comes to us looking back and we invariably do, we may have walked away from something that was actually special, we just didn’t see it at the time. But it may also have been the right thing to do. As many high-profile divorces have shown, it is easier to walk away, than it is to work at something.
The hard part is putting our lives back in order again, once the decision has been made for us to leave. We need to say what we feel and for the other person to listen and be okay with what we say.
This wasn't exactly an option in the world I grew up in since it seemed like nobody was listening so it didn't really matter.
My feelings weren't often taken into consideration, so eventually I stopped paying attention to what I was feeling. It seemed like it was easier to just stop fighting and go along with whatever was happening at the time.
They like to throw out the term, 'learned helplessness' for the way I behave, which makes a lot of sense under the circumstances. People in my life tried to dictate how I should think, feel and act, so it's no wonder that seems normal to me, even as much as I hate it when people do!
It does seem like such a foreign concept, but ultimately it is My life and I get to choose what to do with it.
Thanks Randy. Yes you do, we all do. As you say, ultimately your life is your life, you get to choose how you live, even though as a child that wasn't your life.
As the adult, we get to change our present and future, but that may take some time depending on our experiences.
If only we could always say exactly what we feel. We are hamstring by convention which dictates a certain level of diplomacy which prevails in our relationship.
The skill is to say what we feel in a way that is empathetic and understood. Not always something I manage.
I think you've hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph. It's vital we say what we feel in our relationships. That's the point. You're right, but I'm not sure what convention or society has got to do with it.
It wouldn't be right not to be diplomatic. We should always aim to be diplomatic when it comes to any formal or informal conversation, in a relationship or not.
Perhaps that's the problem with society. We seem to be dictated by what we can and can't do instead of what we should do. The world would be better if we just took the time to talk to one another and offer support.