We've probably heard it said many times before, but its meaning has never really registered with us. "I've met my soul mate."

Or perhaps it's something that has unconsciously registered, but never really consciously registered. That can happen too. Some of us may already have an idea of what a soul mate is, or what a soul mate is supposed to be like.

What is a soul mate?

If you're in a soul mate relationship, you will never have to wonder if that is your soul mate. A soul mate is someone you're around or live with who changes your outlook on life.

A soul mate is someone you have a very deep soul attraction with. An instant knowing that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It’s an instant knowing, an uplifting of the spirit that connects both the body and soul. Soul mates want the same things and is on the same path. They have the same desires, the same wants and needs. Their goals are very similar.

A soul mate is someone you instantaneously feel connected to, in some cases that this isn’t our first connection. We feel comfortable with that person. We want to spend time with that person and feel unhappy when we're not with them. A soul mate is willing to learn and grow with us on an emotional and spiritual level.

It’s someone we want to spend the rest of our life with. A soul mate can also be someone we're not physically in a relationship with, but the depth of the connection we have with that person will last a lifetime. It's someone we relate to, is someone we feel comfortable talking to without feeling drained or threatened by what they say.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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10 comments on “Soul Mates”

  1. I really don't know if there is such a thing as a 'soul mate' and I certainly haven't wasted any time looking for mine.

    To me what is more important is how you relate, honestly and respectfully with those you share your life with and move away from those that don't reciprocate.

    1. There is such a thing as a 'Soul Mate,' which is derived from soulful connections we form long before we're born.

      Like you, it's not something many will come to understand or believe in their lifetime, because skepticism often gets in the way; but what you're describing in your second paragraph is Respect. How we communicate and cooperate with other people is important, but those things don't connect our soul.

      We all need to be mindful and respectful towards other people of course and although that is what you're describing, we need to connect emotionally on a soulful level more, as described in my blog.

      Not to will never make for happy relationships, whatever the relationship. Relationships will always survive without that connection, but it's harder and not without its problems and with little contentment.

  2. Thanks for explaining this. I understand a lot more about it now. It seems to be something that we need to work at too.

  3. I believe in soul mates for sure, but I don't think you can find your soul mate in someone you are not in a relationship with.

    I think, by definition, your soulmate can only be the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, as the whole point of a successful loving relationship is having that mutual belief.

    1. I'm pleased you do, although I think there will always be a difference of opinion on what form a 'Soul Mate' takes. I understand and agree with your interpretation too.

      Our Soul Mate isn't someone we need or have to look for. Intuitively and instinctively we already know who our Soul Mate is the minute our eyes cross. We just know. It could be a chance meeting across a crowded room, a train journey, anywhere.

      Our paths and journey will cross at a time when we least expect it to. When it happens we will have a deep and natural affinity. An understanding, an immediate connection. A connection that is so strong we are drawn to that person in a way we have never experienced before.

      A Soul Mate will allows us to grow emotionally and spiritually so that we will expand into the best version of ourselves, unconditionally.

    2. Thanks. That's the point. We shouldn't have to work at it. Innately, our relationships should 'feel right.' If we have to work at making our relationship work, we're either trying too hard, or it's the wrong relationship. with the wrong person.

  4. I don't know. I suppose it's impossible, since I've held my breath for many years looking for a soulmate. I was always a half second too late or just looking in the wrong places.

    But I've been fortunate, I'm still alive and able to search the universe for that special woman who compliments my soul; but things aren't getting any easier.

    1. Thanks Tim. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from the wrong people, to make room for the right people to come into our lives.

      When choices are made for us in our formative years, our lives are shaped for us and that does rather complicate things. Society and our family condition us to follow a certain path and that knocks us off course around making our own decisions.

      We need to grow emotionally and spiritually without the parental conditioning, to think and be a certain way, which holds us back. From your response Tim, you sound as though this is something you're struggling with; something that resonates with you.

      You're right and I agree, the older we get the harder it becomes to find our Soul Mate, but I personally would never choose to rule anything out or give up.

      Any small change or step you take to better your lifestyle, will pave the way for you to meet the right person or people. We have to make adjustments to our life to make things happen.

  5. Thanks Ilana. I've used my confidence to build relationships, but it seems that something always displeases me, like finding someone suitable but spiritually unintelligent; there's something personal about that with me.

    But your first paragraph made me comfortable, knowing that we have to remove ourselves from the wrong people to make room for the right soulmate.

    1. I'm pleased my first paragraph has made you feel more comfortable. I believe you already know if something doesn't feel right Tim, but the more emotionally free we are, the more open we will be to the possibilities life has to offer and that includes finding our soul mate.

      Our spiritual choices are completely instrumental, but they are often way out of reach. The way we perceive our life and conduct ourselves also play its part. Unfortunately, because we're conditioned to think, believe and behave a certain way, we will always inhibit our own spiritual growth.

      The more at peace we are in ourselves, the more the door will open to a new life. We have to make our lives happen. Our lives need to work for us. How many of us can actually say that our lives actually do? We hold ourselves back and then wonder why our lives aren't working out.

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