The past usually determines how we cope with our lives in the present. I believe the past is also responsible for holding us back and for us sitting on the fence, when we should be dealing with things.

Given our upbringing we’re not all equipped to deal with the bigger changes we have to deal with, therefore decisions will fail to materialise, discussions will fail to take place and stress will usually follow. Nothing will ever be accomplished, because the decisions we should be making will fail to gain any momentum.

From past experiences, the problem is that when no one makes a decision or talks about their issues, those issues will stagnate for a little while, but will never go away. Having lived and seen my family struggle, particularly in the last two years, I know how important it is not to sit on the fence, but to deal with issues as they are presented.

We will struggle more when we don’t. It’s important for us to communicate with each other. We need to be able to adapt into our life and circumstances instead of waiting for our life and circumstances to adapt to us.

Perhaps therefore, it's time for us to look beyond the difficulties and beyond the issues so that we make decisions on the things we know we need to deal with.

Ultimately, we must see and be ready to deal with whatever life throws at us.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Stepping stones”

  1. I agree. We don't need to be caught off guard. That's a major stressor.

    I think too that how our parents dealt with issues affects how we deal with them. We learn a lot from our parents and sometimes it's not that good.

    1. I agree. Our parents don't always deal with their own lives in a way that helps their children, but as long as we learn how to deal with our lives and our issues, then hopefully other things will fall into place.

      I believe our background and upbringing can often create emotional blocks, which stop us from making decisions and dealing with our issues or problems.

  2. I've been sitting on the fence for a very long time, unsure of what I should do and what direction I should go in.
    My life has now come to the point where I daily debate whether it's really worth the effort or not.

    My parents never really dealt with anything in a constructive manner, so I never really learned how to deal with life in a normal way.

    I've felt like a shadow of my former-self for so long I really don't know anything different.

    I'm hoping and praying that I can finally face my fears and be able to lead a somewhat 'normal' life in the time I have left!

    1. Randy, you're probably not alone. Emotionally my parents never dealt with anything and it took me until my 40's to figure things out.

      Emotionally we can stop ourselves from moving on with our lives, because we don't deal with anything, but there comes a time when we should do something about it.

      Sitting on the fence and doing nothing is an option of course, like anything else, but it's an option that will get us nowhere. Sometimes regardless of our upbringing we just have to say enough is enough!

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