Without us having a sense of self, everything we try to do may not work out. Start understanding who you are and stop waiting for just the right time.
Think about what you want
Take time to look at yourself and your circumstances and think about what you want, not what someone else wants for you. What are your wants and needs?
Life doesn't wait
Stop waiting for life to change, life won’t change until you change. When you continually put too much emphasis on the wrong things and on the wrong people, you may end up becoming the victim, and playing the victim isn’t healthy or constructive.
Life is our responsibility
Without a sense of self, goals are harder to define, and needs can be harder to understand. Where we're old enough to make our own decisions, life becomes our responsibility.
You need to be the change
Where others or situations may be the reason for the initial issues, (and we all have issues) there is no sell by date to finding solutions, it is up to you, up to each of us, to solve them. Don't just think and not taking the initiative, or life may take the initiative for you.
If you sit still waiting and hoping that life will change, then nothing will happen.
For me I know it's a change in attitude - I have to stop thinking about the life I have never had, will never have, or the places I will never get to visit, and instead focus on finding acceptance and peace with what I can do and make that happen instead.
You're not alone. I was doing the exact same thing, wishing my life were different before diagnosis at the age of 46.
The tragedy is we question ourselves and lay the blame at our own door, instead of looking outwards at those who have made us feel how we feel and why. I used to visit the exact same thoughts.
It's counterproductive and soul destroying and whilst we cannot change our experiences, or our past, wishing doesn't change anything. We must change our attitudes.
It is up to each of us to make the best of what we have and find a way forward so we can find acceptance and make peace with ourselves.
When you have inner peace, the psyche (the part of us that carries our experiences will heal) and we will have nothing stopping us from moving forward.
People always wait for the right time, there never is one from what I have learned. I stopped waiting when I moved out from my ex-girlfriend's house and started to do what I wanted to do.
I have watched many other people, my parents included, waste their whole lives just waiting for something to happen. The reality is that you have to do the work yourself, no one can do it for you!
Thanks Randy. You're absolutely right. I am pleased you made the decision to change your own life. I think you have proved that we can change aspects of our life, we just have to want to.
It's easy for us to get into a place when we continue to wallow at the life we have, blaming all and sundry for the life we have, without thinking about moving forward with our lives.
Whilst we can't change the life we've had, we are very much in control of how we choose to live our lives moving forward. The more we wallow on the life we've had, the more we will fail to move forward.