Support should be the backbone to any relationship, but what happens when support isn't support but someone’s opinions and their opinions become the most important thing in the relationship?

For me it would probably be time to re-think the relationship and how things are done. Sometimes opinions can be helpful, particularly if the other person we’re helping doesn’t recognise or see what we're seeing and although opinions aren't always bad, it’s often how they're delivered that's the problem. That’s when opinions aren't always as welcome as we think.

It’s important we learn how to stand back and support others, without inflicting our opinions on them. Having to work with other people’s opinions, not only makes those relationships difficult, but can also make our lives difficult too.

When I look back on my own life, these thoughts are always uppermost in my mind, particularly when I see how my circumstances could and should have played out so differently from people who were supposed to support me instead of giving me their opinions.

I think it important for us to concentrate on the support element, where our opinions don’t become the focal point of the relationship. In many respects, it would be far easier for us to stand back and change the way we do things, before we're told how others feel about our opinions.

Not everyone will know what to say and how to say it, without hurting our feelings.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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