Have you ever noticed that when you’re in someone’s company you can come out feeling tired and drained? Sadly, we never stop to question why or how we can spend three or four hours in a friend’s company and feel so drained.

Perhaps those times weren’t necessarily about us, but about those friends we chose to spend our time with. As our mood spirals, it makes our life so much harder. Moods don’t always start with us, they start with someone else, then they affect us that’s usually how it works, although the other person will think it’s us and not them.

I’ve been in other people’s company so many times when their mood begins to overpower us. It’s fine when they’re happy because their mood will have a positive effect on us, but not when they’re struggling.

Psychologists believe that when we interact with people, we do so by picking up on voice tones, body language and expressions. Our brain then responds to those feelings.

This is exactly why we can empathise, stay impartial and are better equipped to help people. It's also one of the reasons why we must surround ourselves with people we know will elevate us and not bring us down.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Taking a look at ourselves”

  1. I can relate to you today. We had a friend of mine stay with us last week and it turned into a nightmare for me. He had stayed in the past but, but the other times he was in a decent mood and so was I. This time it wasn't that way and it made me very uncomfortable.

    I was actually physically ill after a day and it thankfully cut the visit short. This is a prime example of why I like to have an exit plan.

    If a friend is that way, one should exit as soon as possible.

    1. I tend to agree with you Brian.

      Our friends, although they probably don't realise, can be very draining on our moral. You don't say whether you were heading for illness when you cut your friend's visit short, but stress around relationships can bring about illness. Glad you're feeling better.

  2. Other people's problems will bring a person down and if they're in a good way lift us.

    I try not to complain. I see my cup half full as you do. I've got plenty to be thankful for and my health may be bad but at least I can function.

    I try not to bring others down and usually don't say anything unless asked. I hope I don't bring others down anyway.

    1. Llsa, it's not something we are consciously aware of unless we're thinking about our behaviour. There probably will be times where you're negative depending on what you're dealing with and times when you're positive. I saw so much negativity around me as a child, I made a conscious effort to change that as an adult.

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