The reality is that because we don’t consciously see or equate people’s bad behaviour with abuse, we may continually accept the behaviour we’re presented with.
But being aware of what is considered abuse, is the first step to understanding what abuse looks like. A person’s undertones, being intimidating and where they continue to make you feel nervous and scared: that is abuse.
Anyone who uses violence or lashes out, is likely to use all or some of what is outlined above, to create feelings of fear. When the waters become calm again, the abused continue to live with the scars. Even by the time calm has been restored and they're beginning to feel normal again, the abuse may start all over again.
Where verbal abuse may continue as verbal abuse, it can escalate into other forms of abuse, such as sexual or physical abuse, together with abusive undertones it develops a stronger emotional hold on the victim.
Abuse comes in many forms and we don't always recognise it. Sadly we read about it everyday. In any form it is unacceptable.
Yes, my story has abuse written all over it, but even back then I'm not sure how much I equated my life that way.
I was angry because I was emotionally hurting, continually frustrated that I didn't have the support and that my issues were being completely overlooked, but never really equated that to be abuse.
As you say in your response, it's not something we recognise until we look back. Now I'm looking back.