I hate that with autism my issues are issues until they become non-issues. I hate that every issue is a problem until it’s dealt with and that’s not as easy as it sounds – and others think I'm either awkward, stubborn or paranoid.

I Hate Having no Control

I hate having no control over my anxiety. I hate this isn’t just an autism problem, but brain damage resulting in cerebral palsy, brought about through the part of the brain that deals with my emotions, making it even more difficult for me to deal with my feelings. I hate that it’s taken me so long to learn about myself that I’m still having to learn. I hate that I was isolated and not talking about my disability made me more isolated and alone – that I wanted to talk about things as a child that I’ve had to work through all of this on my own.

I Hate the Expectations

I also hate that because my disability is mild, I've had expectations placed on me since I was a small child. Having gone through school and failed, in the early years those expectations were oh, it's 'just me' and doing nothing to help me.

Others failing to understand

The reality is that autism is a disability on its own. From the outset I look and behave relatively normal and that's become my nemesis and my biggest downfall, because it has allowed others to ignore, to not take the time to understand my symptoms.

I hate that no one accepted responsibility. I also hate that those who should have fought for me didn’t. My biggest hate is knowing this is something that may never change.