The psyche, the human mind, spirit or mind, is very much the catalyst for our behaviour traits.

How the psyche works

The psyche is split in two. The part that we don’t want to see or feel, is called the ‘shadow’ and the part that we accept is called the ‘persona.’ The shadow is the bad or dark side of our personality. In reality, neither the shadow, nor the persona are an accurate representation of who we are underneath.

The 'shadow'

They are both exaggerations, and distortions of us, as each only conveys a part. The shadow includes early childhood experiences that we haven’t dealt with that were too traumatic for us to process consciously. The shadow includes all our fears and demons that run our lives on an unconscious level.

The 'persona'

The persona is the part of us that we allow others to see that we’re comfortable with. The parts we’re not comfortable with, we will hide. Over a period of time we will develop our persona in order to win the acceptance and approval of others. That if we make ourselves lovable, we will receive love. The persona is often a mask that we wear in an attempt to hide our pain.

The 'facade'

We believe that if we hide our pain, then we won’t have to deal with the pain. The mask, however, tells a different story. It’s a facade. Wearing the mask is an attempt to hide what we really feel inside. For others, it is hard to find or understand the person behind the mask, unless the mask comes off.

When the mask wears thin

Some relationships between people are relationships between their masks. In the beginning what we deal with isn’t often disclosed, but it is only a matter of time before the mask wears thin and the person behind the mask reveals his or her true self, how they are through a damaged psyche. Sadly, when the psyche is damaged, it splits in two and as a result they begin to feel mentally challenged.

The psyche can heal

For those who believe people are broken, being broken doesn’t just happen. But it starts with the past, with our families. Once we begin to see and understand our experiences, deal with and put those behind us, the psyche will have a chance to heal. When the psyche is affected, mental capacities become a challenge and personalities will change.

When we deal with our past, both parts of the psyche will return to completeness, the psyche will heal, and we will begin to get a realistic sense of who we are.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “The wounded psyche”

  1. I believe that we are born whole, become disunited and spend our lives searching for that sense of wholeness again.

    Understanding how our psyche work can help heal the wounds inflicted by the inevitable dramas of our daily lives.

  2. Often times the enemy is us hiding behind barriers with pride in our voices. This facade has over a million views, but we're the only ones watching.

    Thanks Brad, your comment is very profound.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, we hide behind the barriers because we're too scared to face the truth or deal with our wounds.

      But as Brad, you and I know understanding how the psyche works is the first step to any form of healing.

      And as hard as it is to do, it's harder being on the other side, watching others live their lives and we just stagnate.

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